(Bits and) pieces: family plans

There are a lot of interesting conversations going on in the blogosphere right now (not that that’s anything new...)

Marla’s gone and stirred the pot again with a bold and honest look at the subjects of family planning, SAHMs, and homeschooling (and the Christian peer pressure related to such). A few of my thoughts along with many others are in the comment thread.

Another contributor to that thread, Bob, weighed in with what I think is a very important view regarding adoption. He has a post on it as well.

At Threefold Cord, Holly asks for help understanding just what R. C. Sproul, Jr. is saying about women blogging and teaching. I think Kristen pretty much nails it in the comments thread (and posts on it as well), and Dee O’Neil Andrews has the proper response!

HT: Molly at My Three Pennies’ Worth

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Parableman links to the Dane (scroll down for the rest of the Episodes) and tips his hat to Jollyblogger in a post referencing bad arguments against public schooling.

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Rusty at New Covenant writes a review of Suzanne Venker’s book, 7 Myths of Working Mothers: Why Children and (Most) Careers Just Don't Mix. I haven’t read the book but think I would find it very encouraging. Rusty's summary of Venker’s points:

She presents three basic arguments first claiming that while the choice to bring children into the world is an inherent right, choosing to do so without the intent to raise them is not. Secondly, she claims that if motherhood were viewed as a full-time job it would not be considered something that can be done on the side. Lastly, she argues that those who get paid to watch other people's children (e.g., daycare) are, in fact, doing the actual job of raising other people's children.

My thoughts exactly.

Rusty nails it (oops) with this comment:

More to the point, though, is the fact that the full-time mother, regardless of whether or not she is engaged in art projects all day every day with her kids, is the one who gets to impact their character formation. Despite the obvious nature of this point, it is lost on those who have bought in to the "I could never stay at home full-time" myth. (emphasis added)

Yes! There are, however, those who feel that full-time motherhood equates with “overcontrolling” motherhood. You’ve got to be kidding me...raising one’s own children is “overcontrolling?!”

Another very important statement from Venker’s book:

Children do not raise themselves, and they do not "thrive" in day care. They just get used to it. Children will get used to anything we ask them to; this is why our power is so frightening. And it is the reason we have a responsibility not to ask our children to get used to anyone but us. (emphasis added)

This is absolutely true, especially the part I emphasized. I think of this even with the choices I make as a 98% stay-at-home mom. I dare to say that even the SAHM can neglect her children. (But, please, don’t anyone jump on that and make it into something I didn't say!)

It’s also about relationship. There’s that word again...but it’s what life is all about. What kind of relationship do we want to have with our children, and how can it best be fostered? By spending limited time with them when they’re young? I don’t think so.